Thursday, January 7, 2010

You don't have the sense God gave a grape.

I think whoever perpetuated the myth that men and women are meant to live together peacefully is full of shit.

Go out, have fun, hook up, make babies?? Sure, no problem! But living with a man is like the worst thing ever. Really. Like, they smell bad and they leave dirty socks everywhere and they can dirty up a bathroom sink by shaving in like .2 seconds.....bleh....

But really, the cleaning thing? I can handle. The fact that talking to my husband is sometimes like talking to a bowl of plastic fruit?? DRIVES ME FLIPPIN' CRAZY!

For example, on Monday, he was home all day so I asked him to get the Christmas tree taken down.

And he did. Which is good, right?? WRONG!

Literally....he took the tree down. He did manage to get the ornaments into the plastic tub....which he got like, 2 bonus points for.

Did he put the tree in the box? No. Did he put the tree and ornament tub in the shed where they live the other 11 months of the year? No. Did he take the gifts that were under the tree and put them somewhere so we will remember to give them to the people we didn't see this holiday? No. Did he then vacuum the living room to pick up any stray fake pine needles on the carpet? No.

You know what he did?? He took the ornaments off the tree, took the tree down, broke it into it's three sections and left it on the front porch.

That is all.


"Honey, if you could get the Christmas tree taken down today, that would be awesome" = "Hey honey, if you get bored, just rip the fucking tree down and throw it on the front porch."

Ronnie taking down the Christmas tree FAIL!!!!

Don't even ask about the greenery on the mantle. That shit will live there until Easter. Hey, they're both Jesus holidays, right?? Surely greenery is appropriate for all Jesus holidays.

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