It's been a while, I know...it's just hard to be funny when you're sick. Which I have been....and still kinda am. And I mean, like sick sick--like fever, chills, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, fever so you can rest medicine (sorry....couldn't help but throw the Nyquil commercial quote in there). Which was funny...and true. Sidebar: how fucking great is Nyquil?? If you take Nyquil, you can sleep through sex with your husband, your kids screaming in the middle of the night and a terrorist invasion into your house. (Which I may have done in the past couple of weeks of being sick....well, not the terrorist invasion part, but the other parts--maybe.)
But I was totally saved by modern medication and the oh-so-convenient-grocery-store RediClinic. Yeah...it kinda felt like going to the doctor's office in a McDonald's or something, but hey...the antibiotics and allergy meds worked, so this girl ain't complainin'.
I did try to get in with my regular doctor, but the dude who answers his phones was all "Um so what time would you like to come in on Tuesday?" and I was all "Dude. It's Friday morning...I'll be dead by Tuesday....and then that shit is on your conscience for, like, ever." And he really had no response to that, so I totally won.
Anyway, so RediClinic, it was.
And we did the whole doctor routine. EXCEPT! She didn't weigh me, but asked me how much I weighed! I know! Isn't that awesome?!?! So of course, I was totally honest and said "Oh, well I used to be 130, but you know having kids and all.....so now, let's see...I'm probably right around 145." AND SHE BOUGHT IT!!!! I don't think I've weighed 145 since middle school....but Ms. RediClinic was all "Oh, okay cool". Hell to the yes!!!
But then, she got all stalker-ish (probably because I have only gained 15 pounds since having kids and am still a total hottie...duh) and called me on Monday to "see how I was feeling and if there was anything else I needed". Um....are you going to like ask me out or something because this is a little weird for me?? I mean, you looked up my nose and shit.
And, as Heather from Fuckbook can tell you, that's just really not how I roll.