Why is it that the social norms of adults in the workplace so closely mirror that of 13-year-old girls in junior high?
Why is it that I can purchase a single beer which you totally know I'm going to drink as soon as I get in my car, but I can't buy an open container?
Why is it that nobody on the face of the planet (except maybe the people who work in the factory and package them) knows how to fold a fitted sheet?
Why do all MapQuest directions start with you getting out of your driveway? I'm pretty sure I've got that down, thanks.
Why don't obituaries tell you how the person died? Because you know that's totally the only reason people read them. (Okay, maybe the only reason I read them....)
Why is it that, when people call me and I just barely miss their call on the last ring, they never answer when I call them right back? What? Did you drop your phone as soon as I didn't answer and run away??
Why is it I never see anyone important when I'm dressed in a killer outfit, have perfect hair and great makeup, but if I run to Target in my pj's and no makeup without taking a shower, I see 87 people I know?
Why is the #2 pencil THE pencil you must use on the forms with the little bubbles to fill in? Can they tell if it's a different pencil?? Do they even make pencils with other numbers?
Why do old men grow hair out of their ears, but lose hair from their head? Is it actually getting sucked back into their scalp and then pushed out of their ears instead?
Why am I at work when I haven't actually been "working"? Does that still count as a "workday" for me?