Wednesday, March 28, 2012


I talk about my "friends" quite a bit.  I was blessed (if I may brag a bit) with the gift of making friends easily.  I love people, I love to talk, I love to laugh, I love to have fun and generally, people want to be around people like that.  So it works out.  As I mentioned in my Facebook rant, I have over 400 friends on Facebook...and know all of them. 

I do, however, understand the difference between a "friend" and a "FRIEND", you know what I mean? I'm very close to lots of people I've met since moving to Texas...some of them I pretty much consider family.  Most all of the close friends I've made here are totally the kinds of friends you call when you run out of gas on the side of the highway because you have ignored your gas light for 3 days in a row.  Or to get advice on the best place to buy a new car, find a dentist or put your kid in daycare.  Or when you had the crappiest day imaginable and need a margarita.  Hey, those are good friends...don't misunderstand me.

You all know by now, I'm a Louisiana girl...I was born and raised there.  I lived in the same house my entire life and went to the same Catholic school for 13 years.  I have friends that I have known since BIRTH.  That is no of my closest friends' mom has a "bump picture" of her and my mom when they were pregnant.  She and I were born 6 days apart! We have, literally, known each other since the womb.  I also have a friend I've known since kindergarten...and her mom and my mom happen to be close friends as well.  My other super-close friend from Louisiana moved to my hometown in 7th grade, so we've known each other since junior high.  The four of us were not always fact, there are times I look back to junior high and high school and remember us in totally separate crowds.  The two cheerleaders, the drill team girl and the mouthy speech/rodeo kid destined to end up best friends?? No way! (Sidebar: Betcha can't guess which one was me?)

They're not so much friends as sisters.  After 30+ years of knowing someone, there are pretty much no secrets you can keep...even if you wanted to.  We are one part Steel Magnolias, one part Friends and a dash of The Breakfast Club. We have survived junior high, high school, college, sororities, parent's divorce, cancer, boyfriends, renting apartments, break-ups, graduate school, single-life, marriage, buying houses, pregnancy, fertility issues, drug problems, money problems, a husband sent to war, career issues, deaths of loved ones and adoption.  We don't talk everyday, but we all know what's going on with each other and check in regularly. We are so different in our likes/dislikes and our personality traits, yet very much the same in our values and beliefs.  We are so much like family that we can disagree with one another and the idea of breaking off the friendship NEVER crosses our minds because, quite simply, family stays. 

All those "Hollywood stereotypes" of Southern women may be a bit cheesy (Um, hello, bad accent, poufy hair and mint juleps? Yeah, we'll keep our normal accents, ponytails and Miller Lite, thanks).  BUT there are definitely grains of truth in them.  The strength, the depth of emotions and the ability to put a good face on top of all of it...all of these are character traits of these women I call my friends.  It actually makes me laugh to think we are old enough or responsible enough to even be called "women"...when we get together and start talking and laughing, we sound much more like "girls".  In fact, a couple of summers ago when one of us had moved to California, we all went out to visit. We ended up in our pajamas drinking wine, playing board games and talking until 3:00 am....still having slumber parties at 30.

So this weekend, I'm heading back to be surrounded by these women who have known me longer than I've known myself. We will laugh, we will celebrate, we will talk...and ultimately, our souls will be fuller for it.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Facebook Rant (don't take it personally Facebook...I will always love you...)

I am a HUGE fan of the Facebook (and apparently I'm too stupid to Twitter).  I find it's a great diversion when waiting around for someone, sitting at ball practice or riding in the car.  I will "Like" your pictures, your status and pretty much anything else on your page.  I comment on and read status updates regularly.  I have 400+ friends (and yes, I know all of them....perhaps the meeting is a little fuzzy and I friended them while talking to them at the bar, but STILL...I know them.)

All that is to say, my rant here is not against Facebook, but the people ON Facebook who do not follow the rules.  Yes, I know, there are no rules to Facebook, but for God's sake, there should be.

Rule 1: PLEASE use the "Share" button sparingly.  If every single one of my friends "shared" the latest and greatest Some E Card, my whole wall would be covered with the same damn card over and over and over.  Also, can we agree to stop posting the sentimental/motivational/depressing quotes over fuzzy pictures of rainbows or lily pads on a pond? I like a good quote just as much as the next girl, but for the love of Pete, type it as your status!

Rule 2: DO NOT tag me in your status update unless I'm ACTUALLY with you.  I see this all the time and it drives me batty! Joe Blow: At Hooter's--love these wings! Remember when we came here and got wasted Joe Schmo?!!? -with Joe Schmo But you're not WITH Joe Schmo, are you?? Because otherwise, why would you need to ask him if he remembered getting wasted with you at Hooter's?? You should be actively talking about it across the table at said Hooter's at this very moment! So, what the hell?!?

Rule 3: You do not have to share every damn thing you look at on Pinterest.  For the love of all that is holy.  I am OVER the Pinterest.  No, I don't have an account.  No, I don't want you to send me a link inviting me to create an account.  YES, I do want you to stop sharing every dream kitchen, funny poster and cool hairstyle you have looked at in the last 5.7 minutes!

Rule 4: Along those lines, I do not want to know every song you're jamming out to or video you're watching on YouTube.  Seriously, you're home alone, drinking beer and playing around on the internet....I get it.  If you want to have a party, invite me over, don't post your music and stupid commentary on Facebook.  I'd be happy to come over, have a beer and make fun of you to your face.  No problem!  I'll even bring my own beer!

Rule 5: I do not play games on Facebook.  Bottom line.  Grow your own fucking farm, build a city, go on a treasure hunt, open a restaurant and join the damn Mafia...I could not give less of a shit.  Just stop posting the stupid updates.

Rule 6: Take Facebook for what it is...a social media site.  I do not read every single Facebook post before updating my status and, while I agree it looks shitty of me to post something like, "Beer + Lake = LOVE", which just happens to appear after your heartwrenching post about your dog getting run over, it's gonna happen.  And it's not because I'm a heartless bitch...I love dogs and my family members just as much as the next person.  It's actually because I didn't read all status updates before I posted mine.  And it's MY page, so I'm posting about what I'M doing.  If I was helping you bury your dog or was bringing a casserole to your house because of a death in the family, my status would reflect that.  If I'm not, it won't. And, generally when I have words of condolence to offer, I write a private message to your inbox, comment on your status update, email, call or text you.  I definitely make a point to let people know I'm thinking about them, praying for them and there for them as a friend should be.  Unfortunately, being what it is, Facebook doesn't always organize my thoughts that way.

Rule 7: Another "use sparingly" request: the Check-In.  I'll admit, I'm totally guilty of "checking-in" places...once I figured out how to do it from my stupid phone, that is.  I DO, however, use the check-in only in cases where I'm checking somewhere that A. is cool or B. will make people comment.  I'm kinda a Facebook attention whore that way.  For example, I recently went back home for a visit to my hometown in Louisiana and I made sure to check-in at a local restaurant just because I knew some of my FB friends would comment that it was cool or that they were jealous or whatever.  I DO NOT check in everytime I get to my house.  It's my house, I'm there alot....does it warrant FB mention?? I don't generally think so.

Rule 8: Don't post pictures you can't see.  You know the ones I'm talking about...the crappy cell phone pictures that you take in a bar or during a concert or show or whatever and you can't make out a damn thing in them.  Yeah, those.  Keep them on your phone, show them to me when you see me....but don't put them on Facebook because no one knows what the hell they're looking at.

In summary: perhaps it's time to clean up the ol' Friends list.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Fake Holidays

Leap Day: This is not an actual holiday. It is a calendar fluke which happens every 4 years. Yes, it’s fun to do the math on how old you would actually be had you been born on Feb 29 (fun facts …if you are 84 then you would really only be 21…and the age of people born on Leap Day must be a multiple of 4...).  BUT STILL--not a holiday.
Daylight Savings: This is also NOT a holiday.  It's something that some random guy who didn't want his golf game interrupted invented so that he could have more sunlight during the day.  That's it.  No major celebration, no traditions observed on this day, no cultural significance to any particular group, etc.

SO WHY, I ask you, is my inbox flooded with "Leap Day Savings events" or "Daylight Savings specials" from every retailer from Target to Amazon to the American Kennel Club??!!??!?! REALLY!?!?
This all adds up to the fact that the US can commercialize anything, even fake holidays.  The jury is still out on the random Monday holidays where all the banks and post offices are closed (Columbus Day, Presidents Day, Labor Day, etc.).  I mean, I get least these days are dedicated to the celebration of some sort of historical achievement and/or particular group of US citizenry, but let's face it, we all just sleep in and enjoy our three-day weekend.  And, of course, I'm sure I'll get plenty of sale notifications in my inbox...."Don't delay! Take advantage of *Insert Monday Holiday Here* Savings TODAY!"

Commercialism: FAIL.