Thursday, January 28, 2010

Did you hear the one about the couple who were parking and heard this noise on the top of their car and come to find out it was a dead body!?!?

I'm a little scared of big boobs.

Really...I am. Especially naked ones because they have huge scary nipples. *retch*

Boobs don't run in our family, so it's not something I grew up with, you know? In my family, we're more "ass girls", which in turn, makes our men "ass guys"...which is as it should be.

Why do I have boobs on the brain?? Well, I went to happy hour yesterday with a group of girls from work. One of the women there was talking about her big boobs and complaining because insurance won't cover her breast reduction. (which is total bullshit in my opinion, but I don't really understand insurance, so I am not sure I have an argument as to why it's just is.)

And it occurred to me....I will NEVER have to worry about this. EVER.

And then I got curious and wanted to know just how big these puppies were. I mean, I could see them (nicely covered in bra and shirt...not naked....with big gross nipples *retch*) and they didn't look overly gigantic or how bad could this be??

Um, I'm going to go with "pretty fucking bad".....BECAUSE HER BRA SIZE WAS A "G"!!!

A "G"!?!?!

Wow. I honestly didn't even know such a thing existed. Honestly.

Then there were terms thrown around like "under-boob sweat" and "double G" and "barnacles"....and I've got to admit, I got a little scared.

And then the boob urban legends started.

"A "G"!?! G's not so big. I knew this girl in high school whose older sister was a triple F!!!" or "I knew this girl who had to special-order her bras because her boobs were so big and they cost like $2000 EACH!!" and then "OHMIGOD! You should have seen my girlfriend's when she was breastfeeding! She's normally like a DDD, but she told me her nursing bras were a HHH and that her husband used to put them on his head and run around the house screaming that the alien invasion had finally happened!!!!"

"Boob urban legends" don't hear that everyday, now do you?

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