Thursday, April 22, 2010

A bottle of body spray and a wet nap....reminds me of my 20s.

So I'm doing a little spring cleaning around the ol' blog. I've added a couple of fancy new gadgets.

First of all, on the top right corner, you'll notice that I'm now on BlogHer! Woohoo! This is kind of a big deal in the world of women bloggers! You have to like, be put on a waiting list and they have to check your site to make sure you measure up and then you have to send in a urine sample so they can ascertain your genetic superiority. Okay, maybe not that last one, but whatever…it's totally cool that I'm on BlogHer now! Too bad it looks really sad that I only have one follower….what the hell dudes? Afraid of a little blog commitment??

Anyway, the second new little item is the Shauna Glenn button on the bottom right. Damn she's cool. And I want to like, be her. And she totally doesn't have a clue who I am or that I even exist. Does that sound stalker-is? Probably. But whatever, she's cool and you can find her here, here and here talking about all kinds of fun things involving her four kids (yes, FOUR and she's that skinny…we should all hate her) and her life in general.

And that pretty much sums up the changes around here.

Hey, I did say a "little" spring cleaning…get off me.

Speaking of spring cleaning…had to go get the girly wallet all checked out today. All is well in that area. And of course, I had to do the pre-cleaning ritual before heading down to the doctor's office. I always schedule my appointments as early in the morning as possible. Really, who schedules their yearly check-ups in the afternoon?? Then you have to deal with freshening up in the office bathroom….and trust me, everyone knows what you're doing when you walk into the office bathroom with a bottle of body spray and a wet nap. Just sayin'. I personally find that it's best to go first thing in the morning, right after your shower while the vajayjay is so fresh and so clean, clean.

So luckily, my obgyn is totally cool. I actually usually see her PA and she's even cooler. So we're chatting and catching up about what's been going on in the last year or whatever and a random thought occurred to me (shocker, right?). My random thought was this: Do you think obgyns have to have specific training on how to temper their reactions when they see a scary looking hoo ha? I mean, if I had to look at one that was like diseased or gross or whatever, I'm not sure I'd be able to play it off, you know?? I'd be all, "So, your little one is going to be starting sixth grade next year, huh? That's gr….HOLY SHIT BALLS! WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR VAGINA?!?!?". And then I'd get fired or lose my license or something for yelling "shit balls" and recommending a bottle of body spray and a wet nap prior to her next visit.

Sidebar: my spell check totally tried to turn "obgyn" into "orgy"…and I snorted.


  1. HAHA! I was wondering about the same thing! Especially when women are 9 months pregnant and they can't do the ol' reach around to properly manicure the zone! I have no idea why, but I feel like my body is too sacred right now to be on all fours with my booty up in the air in order to get a wax! BUT the alternative is entirely too scary... Who wants to be known in their obgyn's office as the amazonian jungle woman after they give birth?

  2. Y'all know some women have NO IDEA that you can manicure that area and are amazonian jungle women - then there's the all natural ladies ;) Not sure I would want to be their OBGYN. I might swear. OK - GTG - just got a horrible image in my head about that one....