I saw this Ghost Whisperer episode where this brother and sister died from lack of sleep

I think my child is trying to kill me.

Really.

Oh sure, she looks all cute and innocent with her cotton-top, white-blond hair and beautiful blue eyes. Not to mention, the longest eyelashes I've ever seen....plus that perfect little smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. But behind this perfect little facade lurks the heart of a monster.

A monster that NEVER requires sleep.....EVER.....*bwwaaahaaahaaa*....*SCREAM!!!!*

Ohmigod. Y'all.

Every night is the same deal--we put her to bed with teeth brushing, stories and prayers at 9:15.........and then all is well and silent for about 10 minutes. And then begins the questioning.

Question #1 (after about 10 minutes): Is that your lamp on?? Turn that lamp back off and go to sleep young lady!
Question #2 (15 minutes later): Why is your light flashing off and on?!? Go to sleep!
Question #3 (5 minutes after that): Why are you out of your bed? The bathroom?? You just went to the bathroom?! Hurry up and go and then get back in your bed and GO TO SLEEP!!
Question #4 (20 minutes after the bathroom trip): Why is the dog in here wearing your ballet tutu??!?! GO TO SLEEP!!

And eventually, we just give up and fall asleep and God only knows what she does in her room all night. Because I can only tell you what she's NOT doing---SLEEPING!!

A few mornings ago, I walked into her room, found a pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor where she apparently set up some sort of camp--complete with coloring books and colors, mind you. Then, when I pulled her covers back to wake her up, she was wearing a CHRISTMAS DRESS!! REALLY!??! Dress up at midnight seemed like a good idea?!! WTF?!?! And then she looks at me all innocent and blue-eyed and goes "Mommy, what does 'wtf' mean?" and I say "Don't try to change the subject! Why were you up playing dress up in your Christmas dress?!?!"

I swear she's trying to kill me or drive me crazy. Maybe I'm already there...