Thursday, December 10, 2009

Why can't "pre-lit" trees come "pre-decorated", too?


We (and I use the term "we" very loosely, because it was pretty much "me") finally got the damn Christmas tree up last night. Seriously, I had to plan my whole day around getting home in time to put up the stupid thing.

I know, I know, sounds very "bah-humbug", huh? But I swear, I'm not. I usually LOVE putting up my Christmas stuff. This year, it's just wet and cold and I haven't had a weekend at home to spend all day cleaning and getting it all out. That's just how me and Christmas decorating like to roll.

But whatevs--it's DONE!

AND my logic prevailed and we put up the fake, pre-lit tree instead of paying a shit-ton of money to buy a real one that would be dead and shedding pine needles all over my living room by Christmas.

But the fake tree does come with its own set of issues. Putting that thing up often requires an advanced engineering degree from MIT. Really. I mean, it comes in like 87 pieces that used to be labeled to tell you how to put it together, but given the fact that in the off-season the tree lives in the outdoor shed, the labels have disintegrated. Plus you have to plug each section's lights into one another and ultimately end up with a plug left for the wall outlet--which is like the electronic version of chemistry, which I learned from a teacher who drank vodka out of a coke can--so, not my strongest subject in school, right?

So what did I do?

I winged it, of course....and with a minimal amount of cussing.

And you know what? The thing stood up straight, fit together right, and all the lights came on when I plugged it in!! YES! Score one for the girls' team!

Well, all the lights except those in the star. But I figured, what the hell? We can just have an un-lit star this year.

So when the husband came home, I was all "Check it out dude! Didn't I do a great job?!" and he was all "Yeah, babe looks great! Well....except for the star." and then I was all "It's doesn't have to be lit." and he was all "Um, yeah it does. Or it looks stupid".


And he then proceeds to "fix" the plugging in of the lights on the tree--which included the use of a FLASHLIGHT, PLIERS and BLUEPRINTS. (Okay, not really, but still....). And apparently required him to TOTALLY UNDO EVERYTHING I HAD ALREADY DONE!

And the damn star lit up.

I hate him.

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