Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Shopping: Driving Normal People Insane Since Jesus' Birth

So I'm done with the Christmas shopping....finally.

I count myself lucky that I survived the shopping area of town without A. Killing the old man who totally cut me off in the parking lot, B. Shooting the bird at said old man or C. Strangling the chicks in Wal-Mart who parked two carts in the middle of the Barbie aisle and then proceeded to debate the merits of Mermaid Barbie vs. Malibu Barbie.

And yes, I went to Wal-Mart and Target.....my goal of totally avoiding the mall was reached! You'd just have to be flippin insane to go to the mall 4 days before Christmas....like, "Heeere's Johnny!" insane.

But the list is complete....everyone has an appropriate and thoughtful gift. And I spent agonizing minutes convincing myself that the person is totally going to love it because it was, in fact, the perfect gift for him/her.

Okay, not really, but they have something to open, okay? So quit bitching.

And I'll have you know that I only re-gifted one thing this year...and it was for the family White Elephant thingy, so that really doesn't even count.

Now, it's time to wrap, which is totally my favorite part. I'm the one who always gives kids the gifts tied with the curly ribbon that requires a knife to cut off because it was obviously invented at NASA and can withstand stretching up to 400 yards. Bag of bows?? Not at this taco stand. And I tape the shit out of the boxes, too.

Unwrapping my gifts requires tools and shit.

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