Thursday, December 3, 2009

In Vegas, the night of Thanksgiving it like magically turns into Christmas overnight. My house? Not so much.

I know, I's been a while. But if you follow me on Facebook (and again, who of you doesn't??), you'll know that I have been unable to type due to being extremely FULL. Seriously, I couldn't even make my fat little fingers type on the keyboard....dude....that is full.

So to catch you up:

1. Thanksgiving rocked--and my sister and I totally made my mom's dressing by ourselves. When she dies, we got dressing covered.

2. We hunted.....ALOT. And I shot a big ol' wild hog. And if you're Southern, you know that things aren't truly BIG unless the word "ol'" follows them.

3. We drank.....MORE. I don't think my liver or my stomach could have handled anymore Thanksgiving.

4. We have NO freakin' Christmas decorations up....I know...."slacker city" at our house, right?? After all of our Thanksgiving "togetherness", I wasn't sure that my husband and I were up to subjecting our marriage to the stress that is 'holiday decorating'.

Sidebar: I'm drinking wine while writing this post (duh...) and the kid just came up, noticed my glass was empty and goes, "Can I pour you some more wine, Mommy?". Um yeah, she's obviously a GENIUS! I am the best mother ever. Seriously....People magazine will be calling to interview me any day now. Me, Kate Gosselin and the Octo-Mom--this year's Mother's Day issue...hitting a newstand near you in May!

Okay, now what was I talking about??

Oh, right, marital discord and holiday's a fond memory of my childhood. My dad would buy an 87 foot tree for our living room that had 14 foot ceilings and then my mom would bitch because it was scraping the ceiling and we had to have 400 yards of lights to go around it and she couldn't reach around to grab them and then after stringing them it wasn't in the stand straight and it needed water and then my dad's devil cat would try to climb in it and everyone would yell at him and then....after 2-3 hours of griping, the kids finally got to help put on the decorations.

And all the while? Alvin and the Chipmunks were singing their Christmas album because it was TOTALLY my favorite! Awww yeah!!! "Christmas, Christmas time is here. Time for fun, and time for cheer" Go Alvin, it's Christmas, Go Simon, it's Christmas, Go Theodore, it's Christmas!!! Jump, jump...

*ahem* the Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas album.

Anyway, there's always all the decisions to make...the tree: real vs. fake, are we putting lights outside and if so, what are they going to look like?, how much of this other crap do we really want to put out since we're going to other people's houses for the holidays?....etc, etc, etc.

Meh....doesn't sound festive to me....soooo I have come up with a solution!

Christmas Decorations Challenge: make the coolest decorations you can with lights, light-up yard deer, empty beer cans, empty wine bottles and empty shotgun/rifle shells.

Now THAT sounds festive!

Watch out People magazine, HGTV may want dibs!

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