Thursday, June 3, 2010

Warning: This Post Contains Gross Generalizations About a Group of People (and not like "gross" like "eww", but "gross" like "big-time")

I have done it.

I have drunk (drank? No, I'm pretty sure it's drunk….but I'm really not sure and I'm generally super-anal about correct grammar and spelling. Hmm…hang on; I might have to Google it. No, that's stupid…spell check didn't underline it with that squiggly red or green line, so it's probably okay. Moving on…). Okay, sorry, ADHD moment.

So it's official.

I have drunk/drank the Kool Aid.

I have signed my daughter up for cheerleading.

I know….I feel like such a sell-out. I feel like I'm single-handedly responsible for setting the women's rights movement back like, 50 years. But my husband's all, "Jeez…calm down, it's not that big of a deal. Why do you always have to make everything so political?? She wants to cheer, let her. You're not, like, the President or something". And I'm all "Oh yeah? Well…..shut up."

And I know that he's probably right. It's probably not *that* big of a deal in the long-run, so we will go through with it. And she'll wear the cute little uniform and the cute little bow and carry the cute little pom-poms. And I'll try not to hate her….you know, since she's my kid and all.

But I'm sure it'll be fine.

The thing of it is, I wasn't so much the "cheerleader type" in high school. I did a variety of activities, but they were mostly sports, rodeo or speech/theater. Yeah, I did say a "variety. One of my very best friends was a cheerleader all through high school and was actually head cheer leader our senior, so it's not like I have anything against them….it just wasn't my bag. Of course, cheerleading has changed drastically since then….now you have to like tumble and do acrobatics and shit. And it may or may not involve cheering for an actual team…which is just odd to me. Like, what the hell's the point? Who are you cheering for if there's not some sort of sport being played?? Um…no thank you.

The worst part? I'll have to sit at practice or in the bleachers with the other cheerleader moms. Who were probably all cheerleaders in high school or even college and will want to relive their glory days while wearing their workout clothes since they just came from the gym and "Oh! Wouldn't you know it; I can still do a round off back handspring and toe touch. What? No, I couldn't….well, okay, maybe just one time if you insist!" All while watching our five- and six-year-olds learn cheers.


So let's see….what should we talk about first? Hmmm….the 8-point buck my son shot this year? The war in the Middle East? The impact that Cold War politics has had on 21st century America? How my daughter already knows how to clean freshly killed dove? The fact that I can out-drink most sorority girls? My concern that cheerleading might be a detriment to young girls' self-image?

Probably not.

This is going to be a blast.

1 comment:

  1. Most of the time when I go to cheer stuff the "cheerleader" moms in the work out clothes don't talk to me or include me. Same thing happens at dance. If you're not already part of the clique your out. Glad to see that we all grew up. So I bring a book and enjoy the moments of freedom. I get all stressed out if I watch because my kid is like all the other kids and gets off task, but I know how annoying that is so I about jump out of my seat to yell at them. Any way... enjoy the freedom :) I do peek at them occasionally so that I know what's going on. I do appreciate that it's no longer a room full of SAHM's - that was a conversation killer. I cannot stand to hear more birth, breast feeding, or toilet training stories. We all did it - that's how our kid got here - let it go. Enjoy cheer!