Friday, August 27, 2010

Fun Facts About Kindergarten

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #1: Having a locker in your classroom, even if it's only a locker that's big enough to hold a midget and an umbrella, is the epitome of COOL.

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #2: Because the aforementioned locker is just so damn cool, the highlight of the day is putting things into, and taking things out of, the locker.

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #3: Learning people's names is not nearly as important as what they are wearing.  For example, the kid has made a new friend and she has no idea what her name is, BUT she was her partner for an assignment and she was wearing a cute outfit.  Friendship material? I think yes.

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #4: The "holding area" in the mornings is the Multi-Purpose Room (MPR).  We did not have such things when I went to school....but the kid just thinks this is the coolest room EVER! "Mom! It's like a gym...but with carpet!"

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #5: You can sit by whomever you want to in the cafeteria at lunch.  Me: "So, who did you sit by?" Her: "I don't know her name." Me: "So, what did you talk about?" Her: "Um, lunch." Riiiight. (Sidebar: Sarcasm at age 5?? Seriously?!)

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #6: There are not ONE but TWO playscapes on the playground.  And they have SWINGS! But you have to wait your turn for the swings and if you're wearing a skirt or a dress and you swing, then it flies up and shows your shorts, so you should always wear shorts under it because, otherwise? You're showing your panties.

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #7: If you are late (by even one minute...I swear it was 7:46...really?!? One freakin' minute?!!?), you have to stand outside of the MPR room and miss morning announcements.  Please don't ask how we know this after only FOUR days of school...

Fun Fact About Kindergarten #8: Evening activities may as well cease completely the first week of school.  At cheer leading practice yesterday evening, the kid was standing in the glazed-over, blind-stare pose of someone who is sleeping with their eyes open while standing up (yes, that happens...I saw people doing it all the time in college).  When the kid who never sleeps tells you "Mom, I can't even stand up anymore.  I'm too tired.  I need some rest or a nap", everyone should immediately STOP what they are doing, take that kid home and put her in BED.  This will be documented as the day that hell froze over.

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