I never knew that it could feel so good to be needed...
That one little word could invoke emotions ranging from panic to embarrassment to euphoria....
I didn't intend to be a mother quite so soon...a fact that I don't share with you, but I would never hide from you...if that makes sense. Maybe I wasn't expecting you, but honestly kiddo, I've never known what was best for me. Luckily? God does....which I've heard is one of the best things about Him.
So I was given you.
The most beautiful, challenging and complex being I've ever met.
You are a lot like me.
Yet nothing like me at all.
You are like nothing or no one who has ever been or ever will be.
You are you.
And you are extraordinary.
Today, you started kindergarten....another chapter in the journey of your life. A journey that will most likely include years of formal and informal education (most things I learned in life about people, I learned from the junior high and high school cafeterias....I wish I was kidding).
But today wasn't about the years to come....it was about minutes. The minutes I spent pacing next to your crib wondering if your fever had broken yet. The minutes I spent rocking you and feeding you at 3 am praying that you would go back to sleep easily. The minutes I took to pack your bottles and later, your lunches, for daycare. The minutes I stared at you while you were sleeping because I had, quite literally, never seen anything so beautiful.
Preparing for today took years, but seeing you blossom took minutes.
The minutes I held your hand while walking into the building and down the hall to your classroom. The minutes spent unpacking your supplies and putting them away. The minutes I took to snap "just one more picture".
And the minute you turned from me with an "I love you, Mom. See you this afternoon!" and a gleaming smile on your face.
And in that minute, I knew you would be fine and that I'd never be needed in quite the same way again.