Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Public Service Announcement: The More You Know...

Oh the humanity!

When will the vaginal abuse end?!?!

So it's not enough that we have to make sure the girly wallet is trimmed or waxed or even shaved as bald as the day you were born, plus make sure it stays all fresh and clean….NOW we have to decorate it?!?!?!

Holy Lord.

Surely our mothers did not have it this difficult? I mean, sure, you want to keep the hoo-ha on top of the latest trends or whatnot, but I'm not sure the nether regions need their own bedazzling treatment??

And is it just me or does this say "tramp"?

Is there such a thing as "tasteful vajazzling"? Probably not.

And of course, my husband's number one concern: does it hurt men?? I mean, yes, this picture is okay…it's vajazzled on the top away from the area where he would really need to worry about it hurting.  But I saw some more graphic pictures on the net when I Googled it. (Um yeah, of course I Googled it...and yes, I'm aware that does make me seem a little pervy. Hey, I was curious as to what it actually looked like.) Anyway in some of the pictures, the crystals were more *ahem*….strategically placed, if you will. And I think if one of the crystals came off while you were having sex, it could create some discomfort for both of you. But maybe not unl.....OHMIGOD! What if it unglued from your vajayjay and became lodged in his pubic hair?!!?!? Holy shit balls! That would hurt him like a mother!

I'm here to tell you kids: Practice safe sex. Keep all metal and glued objects away from the private areas. It's for your own safety, really.

And just because Jennifer Love Hewitt and Kathy Griffin do something does NOT mean it's cool.

This is why I am glad I'm not single right now…I can't handle the demands being placed on the vagina in the singles' scene these days. I'm just not sure anyone should vajazzle a hoo-ha after birthing something through it. You might be "accentuating your problem area"….just sayin'…..


  1. I'm just hoping your kidding, cause if you aren't...I'm going to be one of those creepy old ladies with the cats...

  2. You crack me up. But I totally agree with you.

  3. Vajazzling. I love it. I know everyone says the cliched ROTFLMAO, but seriously. I am.