Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The best thing about writing this post was spell checking it.

So this is us, pretending like it hasn't been two months since I blogged.

Just go with it.



And you know, not one single comment asking as to whether or not I'm alive, have been sucked into a black hole or just don't like any of you anymore.  Not. A. One.

Lame asses.

So, what have you guys been up to? (I'm asking, but I don't really care and it's not like I'll hear your responses anyway, but hey! I asked! You guys didn't! So, by default, I'm now nicer than you are. I rule.)

In summary, it has been a hellacious couple of months.  (Sidebar: Ohmigod! Spell check just tried to turn "hellacious" into "fallatious"!!! Um, that's fucking awesome.  Oh, and let me assure you, it has NOT been a fallatious couple of months because we have pretty much been falling into bed already asleep. Aaaand now you know.)

And that's about all I have to say about that....nothing major, just hectic with work, school, extracurricular activities, yadda, yadda, yadda.  The same shit that all of you do, so why in the world would you want to read about it here?

Short answer: Ya don't. 

Moving on....

Things I'm thinking about/loving/googling/dealing with:

1.  Mike & Molly--ohmigod! The is, quite possibly, the BEST show on TV since Friends! And because I'm a teenager/young adult of the 90s and early 00s, Friends is like, the shit! If you haven't seen this show, WATCH IT! (Sidebar: I do not watch this show because it's about people who are overweight...the media has kind of made that the whole point, but I think, that is asinine (which, by the way, is one of my absolutely favorite words).  Basically, making it about the actors' weight is demeaning to their talent as comedians.  And now, I will gladly get off my soapbox and continue my witty banter.)

2.  Can you use Proactiv if you're pregnant? No, I'm not pregnant...(but if I was, holy shit balls! You guys would have totally heard about it because I would have absolutely freaked out!!!!)...but I have a very good friend who recently got pregnant through IVF, and this was a conversation we had today via IM.  Were we busy at work? I'm certain of it.

3.  How many activities are too many activities for a kid? I never want to make the mistake of being the "Over-Scheduling Parent", but seriously....she has GOT to have something to do besides be up my ass.  We're about to wrap up fall softball and now we're trying to figure out what's, dance, karate, underwater basket weaving????  Not sure, but I've decided it's gotta be somethin'....

4.  How cheap am I willing to go on whiskey?? Yep, that's right.....I'm dieting again....(read all about my first diet fail with Crown and water here).  But honestly, it's going much better this time around! The hubs and I are carb dieting and I could almost swear to you I've got loose pants in the closet! I know!!! Me! Not having to lay on the bed to zip my shit every morning!!! Who knew!!?! Anyway, so now the dilemma is: Crown Royal is frickin' expensive.  Canadian, but hmmm....not so much the same. 

5.  Check engine light: OH. MY. GOD. My car is a total fucking bitch.  The check engine light?!!?! REALLY!?!?! It's like the drama queen's fake cry for help or some shit!! I know there's nothing wrong with you....I have your oil changed regularly and keep you all cleaned out and whatnot and YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO LIGHT UP YOUR LITTLE NAMBY PAMBY CHECK ENGINE LIGHT!?!??! I hate her. 

6.  Auto Zone: Did you know....if you take your car with the check engine light on to the Auto Zone, they will plug it up to this nifty little machine thingy that will tell you exactly what's wrong with it?? Fancy, huh?? They will NOT, however, be able to clear it so that the mother effing light goes off, NOR will they be able to sell you the shit that will fix it and make the mother effing light go off.  What in the hell is the point of "getting in the zone" then, Auto Zone??? To waste my flippin' time??? Well, then, mission accomplished....yay, you.

7.  The Saints are doing pretty damn good so far and Thank. God. They beat the Texans.  I'm starting to go a little overboard with the Saints gear the shirts, got the cups, got the beads, got the stickers, got the "When the Saints go Marching In" bottle opener (how FUN! Open the bottle and it plays the song!!!)'s getting to be a bit much.  Along those same lines, I'm turning in to quite the obnoxious football fan for certain college teams, too.  Who is this person and where did she come from?? I don't know, but it's a damn good excuse to spend Saturday and Sunday in front of the TV or at a sports bar drinking beer....dammit....Crown and.....nope....whiskey and water! Oh wait, never mind....NOW I know where this person came from.

8.  Recent discovery: there is a vineyard and winery FIVE MINUTES from my house.  Not kidding.  FIVE FRICKIN' MINUTES!!!!! Man, my life just got better.  And my Sunday was pretty awesome, too...the mom and I hit the vineyard and winery.  Made for a tough Monday though.

So yeah....

That's what's going on with me...sort of....or maybe not.  Maybe I just made up this whole flippin' blog post. 

You be the judge.


  1. I love that I can always count on you to make me feel sort of sane. In comparison...

  2. Actually, I am glad to hear about Auto Zone. My son and his wife just spent $1,000 to have a place do engine repairs and the light still came back on. Had they gone to Auto Zone first, they would have known to say no to all the extras the repair shop pushed on them.
    I hope your year is going well. Your daughter is adorable.

  3. I haven't written on my blog since MAY. That's like 5 months. You are better than me, and just motivated me to try to catch up.