Thursday, July 15, 2010

Anniversaries and gray hairs...damn, getting old sucks.

Actual text conversation between my girlfriend and I today:

Me: I'm pretty sure I just plucked a gray hair from my eyebrow....depressing.
Her: Surely it was leftover from your blond days and just blond???
Me: Nope, I stared at it for 15 minutes trying to convince myself it was blond, but I really think it was gray.
Her: I now have 4 gray hairs.  Question--do pubes go gray, too?
Me: So I've heard, but I have no evidence.  Since I don't, like, make a habit of looking at old lady vaginas.
Her: I'm glad.  What about old man penises?
Her again: Off subject--We should wear maternity pants always.  That thick elastic band is so comfy!
Me: I know! Btw: Is it tacky to bring champagne to a resort? I'm sure they have it there, but I'm sure it's cheaper at the liquor store.
Me again: And bleh--I don't even like looking at young man penises...penises are just weird looking.
Her: Before I got pregnant, I would bring wine.
Me: So it's not tacky, just smart shopping, right?
Her: As long as you're not bringing it out like to the spa or whatever and just drinking it in your room, yeah.

What have we learned today boys and girls?
Gray hair, gray pubes and looking at old man young man penises: BAD.
Maternity pants and cheap champagne in your room at the resort: GOOD.

And on a totally unrelated note, today is my anniversary (well, I guess it's sort of related...we are going to the resort where I will be smuggling in some champagne and coincidentally, my husband has a penis.  But it's not old....and it doesn't have gray pubes...TMI? Yeah, sorry).  And I know that usually, bloggers like to write sappy prose about meeting the love of their lives and yadda yadda yadda.  Surely this is not your expectation of me at this point?

Okay, okay....I mean, I do like the guy...hey, I married him, right? So here goes....

I was fortunate enough to marry someone who accepts me unconditionally, is a good father, looks good in a cowboy hat and likes to have fun almost as much as me.  Not to mention, we like the same brand of beer, he boils some mean crawfish and loves my cooking.  And I have to say, I think that makes me pretty damn lucky.  Happy Anniversary babe!

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