Thursday, November 3, 2011

Self-Help 101 (I'm pretty sure I should write a book...)

Things I'm good at:
-thinking through other people's problems and offering multiple solutions that involve analysis of even the most discreet of details.  (Seriously, I am the mother of all problem solvers....)

Things I'm not good at:
-solving my own problems.


How does that even add up??

How is it possible for me to objectively consider all angles of other people's lives, issues, circumstances, etc. and offer multiple reasonable solutions and when it's my own shit, which I should know backwards and forwards?? I freeze up and become a bundle of anxiety.  Then my husband has to talk me down from the ledge and intravaneously feed me vodka.

Makes no sense.  I need to grow some balls or something.  Seriously.  I just want to tell myself exactly what I would me if I were my friend who was as good at problem solving as I am to my friends (yeah, just go with it)..."Man up, grow some balls and face the issue."  Damn, I give good advice when I'm pretending to be my friend who is really as good at this stuff as I am.

If you happen to overhear me talking to myself, no's my new "pretend to be my friend who is good at listening to my problems and offering solutions that don't involve ledge-jumping or vodka" self-help strategy.

In fact, here's a list of the self-help strategies I employ when stressed out:
-Lose sleep
-Bitch at my husband
-Gripe about everything
-Lose more sleep
-Drink more

How are these "helpful"? They're not, really....but I generally feel better after I finish this list.  Or perhaps I just have a buzz? Either way....

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