Top-Ten Things I am Thankful For

I'm going a little Letterman on y'all and bustin' out the top ten list. Too bad I don't have anybody cool to read it to you.

Here goes:

10. Birth Control--especially the kind I take with a little "happy pill" ingredient to make me less bitchy. It totally works, except when it doesn't and I'm a total bitch...but whatevs.

9. Cars/Trucks--I have this whole weird thing about always wanting to drive so I'll have my own vehicle. If I lived in some Middle Eastern country where women weren't allowed to drive, I'd freak the fuck out. Guess if the shit goes down, I'll always have the getaway car, so I can be sure I'm not arrested or whatever. No, mom, that's never happened, I swear.

8. Cell Phones/Text Messaging--I am now a spoiled tech-age child. I'm used to instant gratification if I need to tell you something or get in touch with you somehow. People who have a cell phone and a) never carry it or b) have it off or on silent/vibrate all the time DRIVE ME INSANE!

7. Lucky Jeans--Every woman should own at least one pair of jeans that makes her ass look phenomenal. And these are my jeans. Seriously....phenom----wait for it----enal.

6. The Country--Because if I lived in the city with neighbors who were like constantly spying on me and judging me for driving a diesel truck that wakes them up in the mornings when I start it or drinking beer on my front porch at 11:00 am or the fact that my husband really likes to pee outside, I'D GO BAT-SHIT CRAZY!!!

5. Dogs--And horses....and really anything that's fuzzy and cuddly. Except for cats, of course....because they're totally from the devil.

4. Books--Mainly because the movie in my head as I'm reading is always WAAAY better than the actual movie translation. I'm a voracious reader....that's where I get the mad vocabulary skillz, yo!

3. Beer--And wine, and vodka, and pretty much most alcohol (except whiskey) because it's just fun. As a wise woman once said, "Some people say they don't need alcohol to have fun, but why start a fire with sticks when they've invented the lighter?". Need I say more? I think not.

2. The Fam--Yes, I do have a cheesy softy side that loves my family and my husband....so I'm not cynical about everything...sue me. But I'm one of the lucky ones who lives fairly close to my family, gets together with them regularly and actually enjoys hanging out with them....most of the time. No, but seriously, they're cool. Other people even like hanging out with my family. And I'm lucky to not have serious marriage drama with my husband....we actually like each other. Weird, huh?

And the number one thing I am thankful for.....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....

1. The Kid--I am worried that I cloned myself, but she's irresistible, says the funniest stuff and I love her tremendously. She is the light in my heart on even my darkest day.

Happy Turkey Day! Drink one for me! ~NTS